6.01.2012

Goal No. 12: Perform 'Amor Prohibido' on Stage

The setting was calm, the room was comfortable. Minutes passed and yet they seemed to feel longer than minutes as each poet got up to the mic and bled their emotions out into the crowd. Each with his and her own story, own style, and fluidity. Somehow, the room, the poetry, and the mediums from which art was transferred had become a single entity. I looked around and everyone seemed transcendent. Every artist briefly beguiled by the beautiful blossoming beats that beat in the room.


The host came up to me. My turn would be coming up after two more poets. He bowed close to me and asked, "Do you want to go now?" I felt nervous, but I was ready. 


I stared out into the crowd, and it sound vanished. The dread was gone, and as the first word of my poem slowly crawled out, I began to feel a familiar emotion: satisfaction.


The first two went well, I thought to myself: They were just practice. Here's the main event.
AMOR PROHIBIDO



Mujer misteriosa,
me has encantado.

Tu mensaje prohibido
encendió mi alma
con una locura insaciable.

Has vuelto infieles
los mas leales hombres,
acometen travesuras
por tenerte.


Muchos saben de ti,
pocos te conocen.

Son mucho menos
los que han podido alcanzarte.

Con una Mirada
me liberaste de la pesadilla
y mi alma ya conciente  
despertó de la mentira:

de la vida habitual de blanco y negro,
de reglas impotentes, vecinos miserables.

Tu esencia remendó mi vida entera.

Mujer misteriosa.

Sin palabras, sin susurros
me has brindado un millón de deseos.


Tu mensaje evangélico
me levantó el alma
y quedó en mi Corazón
una huella.


La huella de esperanza, de rebeldía,
de amor, de una vida sin barreras.

Solo fue tu Mirada. 


Dediqué entonces mi vida entera a buscarte.
Soñé y acaricié locos sentimientos
por tenerte a mi lado.
Tu Nombre es: Libertad





And then....silence. It was the calm right before the crashing of a huge wave pummels the sand. It stayed with the audience for a second. 

And as soon as the silence came, it vanished.

Applause and cheers filled the room. High fives accompanied my return to my seat. Pats on the back, accolades in the form of whispers and nods. And the most satisfactory, yet another emotion that I am almost ashamed to say is not was familiar as the former: True Happiness. In it's purest form

Goal No. 10: Get down to a Size 34

It's been roughly two weeks since I started this meal plan. As of Wednesday, I'm down to 170 lbs or originally being 190! As a direct result of that, I've slimmed down to a size 34, achieving one of my goals I set out to accomplish this year. Woot!

This has been the lightest I have been since I was young, around 12 I'd say. It's given my renewed confidence and has also brought to light a thought process in which I need to work on.

Throughout these two weeks, while I struggled with giving up the foods that I love (Cheese, red meats, rice, oh how I miss you), a thought came to my mind that I had to bring to consciousness to make it more palpable. Even on days when I busted my ass, my mind produced this thought: you're cheating. You're taking the easy way out. Your weight loss is a lie. That was the day when I had to eat nothing but fruit for the day, a Sunday. This thought was disturbing, and I had to put it out there to prove a point: Determination breeds success. Making a consistent effort to do something produces results, especially when it comes to self-motivation. The fact that a thought like that came to me meant that there were still brief moments of a self-destructive mind that crept forward. I dealt with self-esteem issues when I was younger. What I took from those years was that you are your own keeper, your own coach, and your own motivator. It means that positive thinking must be a consistent effort to go hand in hand with the task at hand.  


I'm still going with the meal plan, and expect to finish it by next month. Now, on to phase 2: Fish and White Meats!