Just in case you're not familiar with the term, or French, it means 'reason to be.' It's used pretty freely in speech, and its true meaning is often overlooked.
And when you think it about for a minute, it's a penetrating question. You can't answer it sincerely without much contemplation: "What is your purpose?"
Earlier in November, I took place in National Novel Writing Month, a monthlong endeavor to write a novel, book, story, whatever you wanted to work on for a whole month, every day. And let me tell you, the idea is spectacular. Following through was a struggle, though. There were days when the words just flowed freely from finger to keyboard.
Then...there were most of the other days, when I got a paragraph or two, tops, which I was tempted to delete but couldn't; A golden rule of NaNoWiMo.
During one of my many road blocks, I took a break and spoke to a good friend of mine. During our conversation, the topic of our 'raisons d'etre' made its way in.
I hit a road block, again. That was twice in a night. You'd think there was major construction on this road I was on. or Perhaps a detour up ahead.
As I stood outside the Dunkin Donuts, I had to ponder about what my purpose was; not because I wanted to concise answer for my friend, but because I wanted to hear it out aloud for myself. It's funny, so many things popped up in my head to say, but it was hard to separate them:
fleeting interests, random thoughts and ideas, ideas of what it 'should' be
Then it came to me: "Writing"
Even though I've been a dilettante, even though I have't written religiously in years, whenever I'm faced with expressing myself onto paper, or pad, or computer screen, I feel the most secure. It's the one thing that's stayed constant, as much as I've let it go, and pursued other things, it's always been a part of me.
And though I still have my doubts,
and my own pressures about saying the right thing,
about being blunt and honest,
about my actions,
whether or not my purpose changes as do the times,
whether or not my 'raison d'etre' will be something people will implore, applaud, or disregard,
I know that my writing will be there to remind me: C'est a toi.
So I ask, What's your raison d'etre?
